i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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