it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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