I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
