we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
