Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
