Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
