they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
