We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
