I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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