we have officially lost it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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