His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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