so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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