So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
