i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
