Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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