That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
