i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
