You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
