For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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