ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
