Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
