We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
