True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
