My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
