When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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