"it" just moved
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
