just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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