This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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