I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
