its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
