He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
