All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
