idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
