He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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