My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
