there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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