I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
