I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
