Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
