This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
