i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
