he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
