so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
