Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
