Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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