Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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