Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
tell me about the fingering
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