PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
