Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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