yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize